It feels like a lifetime ago. Those sweet sneaky memories when I saw you everyday in secret. The nights I would count down the working hours you had left, to jump into your welcoming arms. The late nights along the canal, at the beach and on the patio, where we’d meet, talk and kiss into the wee hours of the morning. Those days we were innocent and naive, I was innocent and naive to be precise. Those early days I secretly built our future together, my little castle on a cloud. I dreamt big dreams of love, hope and happiness, most of all eternity. I may seem cynical on the onset, but deep down, I’m the little girl who grew up, drip fed on Disney fairytales. Fairytales waiting for my prince charming to whisk me off my feet and into the world of happily ever after. My heart soaring and my tummy full of butterflies. But there is no happily ever after as my cynical self will preach. How is it that I cannot reconcile my cynical-realistic-down-to-earth self to my inner-fairytale-starry-eyed-ingenuous self? Where’s my compromise? Today, the duality of my personas has left me broken and wondering. Wandering into a future unknown, with every step as perilous as the last.

Evidently, those happy days are long over.


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